He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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