'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
it's like iHOP with fire
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
