Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
