Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
