you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
