Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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