Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
