chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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