remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
