Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
