Buhtt sex?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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