oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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