dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
