Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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