I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
As shirtless as possible
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
