We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
