You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
