You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
