Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
