it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
