weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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