don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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