Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Randomize
