part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
