So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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