Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
