You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
