My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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