I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
