And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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