got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
