she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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