Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
