before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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