He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
