I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
