Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
