I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
