Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
