i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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