just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
