He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
