The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
