Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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