i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
