Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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