Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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