There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
No subtext here. People are naked.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
