so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
