She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
