I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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