pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
