is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
